low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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