I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
