I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
