He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
