it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize