Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
