He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
