I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
So much Jack, so little girl.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
