"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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