therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
