dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
