I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize