i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
