She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
you would pick up someone in the library
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
