new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
