I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
