My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
