What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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