I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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