yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize