Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
