Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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