I could have mohawked her pubes.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
