YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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