I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize