he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
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