I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize