Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Found your dick twin last night
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
