That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
