this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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