i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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