My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
