I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
