the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
why is half of my head shaved?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
