I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize