Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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