Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
