just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
