Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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