I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
