I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
