I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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