So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
