is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
my sisters under your porch take her home
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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