I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
