Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
