Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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