FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Randomize
