remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize