Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
