"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
