sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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