OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
