Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
