I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
