You can't special order awesome
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
