I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
