I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
