remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
