i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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