Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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