Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
