glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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