She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
